Updated: Dec 3, 2021
I wanted to give some time for my readers and followers to either read my bio and/or order my book Coming to America: An Adoption Story prior to going into my adoption story more in-depth. Even by going into the process, it does not give away the book, so go check it out :) It would be a great Christmas gift ;)
Let's get started!
I was born in Kropotkin, Russia near the Black Sea (likely why I am so salty - only joking). I was put up for adoption at 2 weeks old. My biological mother had mental issues and was likely taken advantage by my biological father (this is what was shared to my adoptive parents and myself). I have never met my biological father or know/have any information about him. My biological grandmother found me one day with nearly a 2 week old diaper. My grandmother clearly saw my mom was not fit to be a parent so she took me to a local orphanage due to her age of nearly 80 years old and being too old to take care of a newborn. I was at the orphanage for 7 years. My biological mother only visited me twice in the orphanage and had no clue who I was. She would be escorted by some nurses. Had it not been for the orphanage staff telling me who was visiting, I would have never known it was my mom. Other than her visiting, I did not have any other visitors during my time at the orphanage.
My now parents took nearly 2 years to adopt me. They went through an adoption agency and after nearly a year, got my "adoption"/audition video. Adoption agencies would work with different orphanages to interview eligible children. When I was in middle/high school, I actually got to see my adoption video. I was around 3/4 years old and was speaking poor Russian but clearly having a conversation with the adoption and orphanage personnel.
After a couple kids of being nearly adopted by my now parents, but falling through for different reasons, I was selected. Throughout the 2 years, my parents were asked to get on a flight multiple times thinking it was time to pick up their selected child, but fell through. They were so exhausted by the back and forth process of getting ready to go just to get their trip called off by the adoption agency that had the trip to get me fell through, they would have completely stopped their adoption process. Luckily, it worked out :)
My parents picked me up in Russia. When I met my Dad, we instantly connected, however, not the same story with my Mom. We clashed instantly. After a couple of days in my hometown, my parents and I, with our translator began traveling north to Moscow to catch a flight to America. In our travels to Moscow, we stopped in many different cities. This was the first time I had really explored Russia. It was the first time I ate ice-cream, used an actual bathroom (and locked myself in :/) , slept on a nice bed, and had a nice meal. It was a brand new world to me. My parents were in Russia for nearly 2 weeks prior to all of us flying to America.
Upon landing in America, all the items I discussed in my book Coming to America: An Adoption Story happened. I arrived at my new home, I received a teddy bear from my grandma (which I still own to this day), and began learning English. Shortly after arriving in America, 9/11 happened, as well. This was quite a frightening time to be in the United States. Had my parents waited any longer, they would have likely never gotten me due to the borders and travel closing.
For years, I struggled with accepting my adoption. I also felt like I was the kid that was never wanted. That my parents regretted getting me. This was due to many reasons, that in time I will go into. However, in my adulthood, I realized one thing, at least I was planned. Many kids ask their parents if they were planned or an accident. I only ever asked my parents if I was their first choice, I was not. However, that was mainly due to them having many choices prior to seeing my video. However, I was planned. It took many months and years to get me. No parent, mine or anyone else, just suddenly shows up to pick you up. It is all planned. Whatever relationship, lack of love and/or respect you may feel, you can never say you weren't planned by the adoptive parents. Whatever the motive was to get me or you, it was at least planned.
I talk more about my story via: