Recently I have been seeing topics on Roe vs Wade in recent political interviews and social media platforms. Many people are defending their opinions based on the perception that adoption is an easy choice compared to an abortion. I am not making this a political post, sharing one side or the other. I am here to share that adoption is not what it appears.
Adoption is a traumatizing event for the woman (and man) to give up their child for whatever reason. They are consciously deciding or being forced to give up. Many people think it can be an easier choice to give life to a child and just give them up for adoption. However, adoption is traumatic for the parent letting go, the child, and receiving parent(s). I have met a handful of women who say giving their child up for adoption has been the most traumatic decision in their life. The constant reminder, worry if the child is ok, loved and not being abused, and if they made the right decision. I have not met one single woman who has been happy about their decision, always wondering if they made the right decision. Additionally, some kids who are put up for adoption do not get adopted for years and years, if ever. To hear that adoption is an easy "transaction" is disheartening.
Clearly, my mother did not abort me as I sit here typing this and sharing my story. I could have easily been aborted due to a rape. Different times, rules and laws are in Russia, however, I could have also been the other decision (and measures) because my mom clearly was not in a capable state of mind to take care of me. I see both sides of the spectrum.
Adoption is misunderstood as a magical transaction, a child getting saved by new parents. However, there's so much in-between. The child is adapting to a whole new life and parenting personalities. Adoptees are forced to somehow adapt and love humans they aren't even physically and emotionally bonded to. Think of adoption as a new job , brand new company and doing work you've never done in your life and having to execute a large effort immediately. You're likely in shock and needing a second to understand what's happening. There is nothing magical about being thrown in to a situation you're not familiar with or may have never asked to be in.
As Roe vs Wade keeps getting brought up, it's good to understand both sides. I'd ask people to think more deeply into the messaging being thrown out that adoption is an easy process and a magical and life saving event. Many adoptees go in the deep end due to the trauma inflicted. I am sure many parents also feel traumatized having to adapt to a child's personality and past traumas. Using adoption as a scape goat to meet a political agenda is not right. People are at stake on both sides of the spectrum. I am not taking one side or the other, both sides lose...
I go a bit more into this topic on: